Darbyshire: Welcome to the Jungle by Maverick Alexander

Author:Maverick Alexander
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Gwabboh LLC
Published: 2018-02-15T00:00:00+00:00

RlCHARD KlCKEM

"FUCK ME IN THE FUCKING DIRT-PIPE," yells the cocaine-fueled shell of a duck. Richard Kickem, the mallard with a taste for overconfidently making gargantuan bets, courting prostitutes, and drowning in spicy margaritas, just lost the biggest sports bet of his life.

Dick Kickem had been on a hot streak for years. His first major gambling victory came when he placed $20,000 on a prop bet with 500,000 to 1 odds. His bet was that Dale Earnhardt Senior would die in the final lap of the 1998 Daytona 500. He won 10 billion dollars.

He immediately went from being a former underpaid I.T.T. Tech "C" student to an international playboy. He started gambling on anything and everything, all while chasing the nearly cardiac arrest-inducing rush of his prodigiously improbable NASCAR bet.

He started placing bets on everything he could, and somehow continued to win big. It was as if he had advanced knowledge of everything on which he bet. From putting his entire fortune on Kelly Clarkson winning the first season of American Idol, to the Red Sox winning the 2004 World Series, Dick Kickem couldn't lose. It was entirely unclear why he was allowed in Vegas after nearly ruining the city's economy over a 5-year period.

On his rise to becoming a trillionaire, Dick started to develop a taste for the finer things in Life: namely cocaine, tequila, and morally destitute women he found on social media. He quickly lost interest in anything that wasn't outrageously expensive and/or degrading to other people. He was on a search for meaning.

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